Shawna part 2

I have had a really hard time dealing with her death. Its hard to imagine she is gone and I cant talk to her anymore. No more advice or crying or laughing or vacations with her. That's a hard thing to swallow but I am so grateful for the gospel in my life that makes it easier to move on. I didn't think I would be able to go to the funeral and that really made me sad. A day after I found out the news my roommate told me she was going to buy me a ticket to go. I couldn't believe she would do such a nice thing. It was so sweet of her and I knew she didn't have the money to do it. My cousin Audrey also called me and asked if I was going to go. I wasn't really sure but she said I think its important that we both go so if you need any help please let me help you. I was so overwhelmed by the love shown toward me. I flew out and was able to be there for the viewing that night. It was really nice and one of her brother's had put together a slide show that had so many pictures of us together. It was hard to see how much her siblings were hurting. When I got up to her parents they just cried and cried and my heart broke for them. I hugged her husband and he held it together so well. He was comforting me more then I was him and I thought how sweet and typical that he would do that. My heart broke the most for her kids. The oldest who is 13 now didn't cry at all the 10 year old was really upset and the 5 year old didn't really grasp the idea. I know its going to be a long road for them. The funeral was really beautiful and I was so glad to have my cousin Audrey to sit next to me the whole time. Her sister Emily shared a list of 101 things I know that Shawna had written. I am going to make it my goal this year to come up with my own list. Hers was so beautifully written and I know that she was prepared to die. Its not going to be very easy to have her gone but I know she is at peace and waiting for us.