Looking back

Its been a rough end of 2010 and beginning of 2011. With the death of my cousin Shawna and my grandpa Keith close behind her. I have never dealt well with death. I know we will be able to see them again but I am sad. Its been a hard thing to have 2 deaths so close together. I was lucky enough to go back to Utah for both funerals and I am so glad. My cousin Shawna's funeral was so hard with lots of crying and emptyness. I think it was the fact that she died so young and left a small family behind. At my grandpa's funeral there were tears but a peace that made it so much better. They were both so full of cancer and it was a blessing they could both pass on. I am so truly blessed to have been born into such a great family! I think of the short 31 years that my grandpa was apart of our lives. I am so glad that my grandma was able to find him and have the kind of life she always wanted. I was reading grandpa's life history up until the day before he passed away. He had quite a life full of his own heartaches but he never lost his faith. He prayed harder when he didn't think he was able to go on. After meeting my grandma he said "Looking at the circumstances which led to us meeting it would appear to be the hand of the lord leading our footsteps." I hope I can have the kind of faith he had even in his darkest hours. I am sure going to miss his amazing hugs and his sweet ways. He was truly the best grandpa. He will be deeply missed but I know he is in a better place and I wouldn't want to take him away from that. I read this poem that fits perfect with the way I feel. love you grandpa!

Miss me, but let me go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free

Miss me a little - but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me - but let me go

For this is a journey that we must all take
And each must go alone
It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely, and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me - but let me go